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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Vanity, not so elusive.

 ......V A N I T Y

What kind of inspiration do you think your are, obsessing over certain muscle groups in your body as a whole? Slaving... away at a gym to perfect a certain part of your body, to feel self-satisfied, and please a judge, for a prize that has no worth in the true life, the life lived for Christ.  
The erosion of relationships with friends & family because they "don't understand" the importance of your "contest" diet, your consumption of vanity, so to speak. 

Your "pre-contest" behavior, grouchyness, attitude. 
Trying to mask your behavior and blaming it on your "diet" is sad.  Do you realize how that sounds? "sorry for snapping at you honey, its just this diet I'm on for my contest; this diet to deprive my body of water & get more lean; so my muscles show better so I can get a color sprayed on me that will expose my muscles even better under a bright light so a bunch of judges can judge my body, hair, and walk while wearing a tiny piece of cloth over the smallest amount of skin covering my private parts, so I can win a crown and title for having a amazing body that I obsessed over for the last few months. Thank you for understanding!"  

....How un-inspiring it must be to the girl that struggles with her weight; who would love to just go down a few sizes, to see girls that are near-perfect in so many peoples eyes, obsessing over some part of their body that they need to "improve" on in order to place higher at their next "competition".   

The displaying of your body in ways that cause men to be tempted.  Regardless if your butt-crack or nipples are covered, you are nearly naked and still causing temptation and practicing lack of self-respect & lack of morals. 

The true Beauty of a Woman. 
As a woman, we naturally carry less testosterone. 

We are supposed to have more "fat" in our chest, our hips... our body. A necessary fat to be able to provide a living environment for another life in our own bodies. 

Christ is in us, and takes care of us.  We cannot sustain this Body of Christ without proper nourishment and care. Prayer. Following him, not just knowing what his word is.  The same goes for our body providing a wonderful environment for a new life. We as women are not meant to be so lean, it is not a healthy environment for a devloping baby.

It is not attractive and is a distorted image you become a prisoner of. It is a temptation that breeds another tempation. A sin that produces another sin, and another.  Before you know it, you're on a stage in barely any clothing being judge on your way to "please" the crowd, "pose" and show your body, your "tan" and your "walk".

Gluttony.  It isn't just over-consumption of food.  How pathetic it is to focus so much on eating x number of meals a day containing x and x and x. I wonder how many kids are in poverty-stricken countries, wondering if they may receive a small scrap of food in the next 24 hrs. Not 2 or 3. I am not judging, but will say, just because you believe in God and know his word, doesn't mean you are FOLLOWING it. I have been down this path, and do not regret it.  I learned a lot about myself, what is truely important to me, what happiness REALLY is, and most importantly, GOD. I thank him for still shining his light for me to see my way back as I traveled father down this path of deception.

I recently was browsing one a profile on facebook of a woman that I was very inspired by.  Though orginally sparked by her modeling/fitness career, I grew to be way more inspired by her love of life, family, and God. 

She recently posted a picture of what she looks like now, which is much softer and more feminine than her competing figure.  In a short summery, she wrote about why she decided to not compete anymore, or live that lifestyle- how she would rather have the body she has now, and the lifestyle, than her past.  I was so touched, as I had been blessed with recently seeing this light as well. Though I don't personally know her, I sent her a message about how amazing it was to see that, and hear that. Her response was so motivating and positive.  Her passion for the love of children was wonderful. It was amazing getting to talk to her!
This girl is a true woman of Christ, and a true inspiration to other women. Her is her latest blog post on it all:
Do I still workout? Yes. How often? once or twice a week, and I walk everywhere as often as I can. Do I still eat healthy? yes, its my choice to. I feel better when I eat whole rich foods, not processed, refined, additive fill foods. Who doesn't?  My body has naturally taken up a softer look, thank goodness! It is a hard process, allowing this improperly identified fat back in my life. But my clothes fit just as good, and my relationships with friends, family, TIME here on earth and GOD have flourished.  

My amazing parents and me; my crown worthless in the life lived for Christ. The real treasures by my side.


 James 1:12-15
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

 1 John 2:16
For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.



  1. I L O V E you and your post. I think i can honestly say that I was probably the closest person to you during this time in your life (as I was in an unhealthy spot as well) we were a destructive duo! The poor men in our lives who had to put up with things like ruining road trips and family trips to CA obsessing over butter and if the hotel we stop at next has a gym!! From a totally unbiased viewpoint, this is the most inspirational blog I have read in WEEKS!! So blessed to call you my friend.

  2. :-) x a lot!!! So happy to inspire! Thank you Jess! (almost pulled a wife...) *smooths out wrinkles in semi-professional outfit* ....indeed we were a destructive duo. But thankfully we had each other at the time! Us pulling such stunts....... sneaky snake slithered into our minds and caused such distorted thinking! Kinda nice though, knowing our men loved us still and stuck through it; they're keepers ;) thank you for blessing me with your friendship too, truly.

  3. Hey there my dear Leanna! Look at you with your own blog, sharing all you have learned thru the your journey through competition. I am tremendously impressed with not only your writing skills but your wisdom and viewpoint. Great job girl!!

    As you know, I still compete; and I hope you're okay with that :/ reading this made me worry a bit. But as you know, shining the light in the darkness is what we're here to do (Be his hands and feet) so I truly do feel I am being used as a tool of God where I am. We should talk more about competition and following God though! Girl, you would be so proud of how I am overcoming that awful eating disorder and food-obsession... I got the book we talked about, "Made to Crave (God)" and God has been editing all that crap outa my mind and filling it with Him :)

    I miss our times in the "garage" and our ridiculously long text convos.


  4. Beautiful Babe Ruth!

    Sorry it has taken me so long to reply, a long weekend spent at my parents with hamster-wheel-strength internet lol. Thank you for the encouragement!! :D It was a big weight off my chest...
    ~Yes my dear, I am okay with you competing! I understand where you are coming from in shining the light in the darkness.... but I don't think that is the way to go about it. Being beautiful and physically fit are blessings, working out is important for health, but embrace that and share it with the lord in the proper way; there are SO many other ways to inspire women besides revolving the life around lifting weights, cardio, strict dieting, and hours of staring at yourself in the mirror to perfect a "pose" to win a placement based completely on your exterior... to get on stage barely clothed, showing your body, posing... a contest of complete vanity.. :( I don't mean to upset you, nor veer you off-course.. but just consider this all. Just because things are going great in the bikini competing industry, doesn't mean its Gods will. Temptation is just that; we are vulnerable to sin... we have a choice. God isn't going to stop us from going down the wrong path,its a testament of our faith. Ironically that is where we learn the most though; these dark paths. I wish you all the best in your competitions though, truly! you are a gorgeous person... INSIDE & out. I am happy to hear that you are conquering the night monster! That lady Lysa TerKeurst is AMAZING. I bought a book by her called "who has the key to your heart?" -highly recommend. Take care and God bless girly!


  5. This is such an inspiring post! I am so proud of what you have accomplished and how far you've come... and I don't even know you!!
    I am so happy to have found your blog and be able to "meet" you.
    I was 100 pounds my whole life until I had my baby. I am almost back to pre-baby size, but definitely don't have the muscle tone I once had. Sometimes it's depressing, and it can be so easy to become obsessed over things that don't REALLY matter. It's good to be healthy, which I am, but worrying about my bit of back fat is such wasted energy.
    Granted, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be more fit... but there is something wrong if you put things like that BEFORE God.
    Thanks for the reminder. :)

  6. Mrs. T! You *made* my day! :D Thank you SO much for the support/praise/gratuity or whatever word I'm looking for and cant find! haha. I'm glad you got to "meet" me and I have "met" you now too :-) With this new "fitness" revolution and "muscles being sexy" yes..... it is good to have some muscles, for health and strength. I like being able to lift a bag of grain or open a tight jar of jelly lol. BUT.... the true joy of us being a woman has been lost so much in that. I am glad you are grasping this! You are gorgeous and it is wonderful seeing the love you have for your precious kids! If you were too lean with a "beautiful muscular" body you wouldn't have been able to create them! So glad you wrote me and I look forward to reading your blog, I can relate to you in so many ways, I am excited lol. God bless you :-)